Retirement -- Day 6, The Mouth of the Rat

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Lucifer came for an unannounced visit yesterday. Unsurprising, really, considering the altercation with the police from the day prior. I had hoped the encounter wouldn't reach his ears--foolish, I know, considering how many officers whose soul contracts he holds--since it had been a relatively minor misunderstanding.

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"Vlad, buddy, I leave you alone for 24 hours and you have the five-0 on your doorstep?" The Lightbringer shook his pale head as he rose through the kitchen floor. 

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"Coffee?" I offered my unexpected guest. I took sip of the black brew and pulled down a mug that displayed a poorly drawn frog and the phrase 'My Tummy Hurts and I'm Mad at the Government' in pink letters.

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"Love some. Two sugars." He opened up the refrigerator. "You got any of that flavored creamer? I love that hazelnut stuff." 

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After a bit of rooting around, Lucifer emerged with a large bottle. Eyeing the label, he sighed. "Salted caramel." He shuddered, then passed his hand over the bottle. He then added a healthy pour into his mug and stirred with the spoon I'd provided.

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I could smell the sweetness wafting up from his mug and the scent of hazelnut. Anastasia would be upset that he'd changed the flavor of her creamer and would likely climb up on the dining room table again. I was amazed the spoon didn't stand upright on its own with the amount of sugar but Lucifer took a sip and pronounced it "Perfect."

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"You need to try this, Vlad. Live a little. You don't have to always default to black and bitter, you know."

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"I like bitter."
 

Lucifer splashed some creamer in my World's Okayest Dad mug without asking. "Trust me," he said with a sharp-toothed grin.

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"Is that what brings you here today? My unfortunate interaction with the Boca Raton police department?" I set aside my mug.

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"That, and to check up on you." 

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"I assure I had the situation well in hand," I told him.

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A piece of paper appeared in his hand. A pair of gold rimmed reading glasses perched on the end of his nose. Lucifer didn't need them but he liked the way he looked wearing them which was enough of a reason for him. He peered down at the paper and began to read.

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"Mr. Drake then proceeded to remove Mr. Greenlaw's dog from his property by dropkicking said dog across the street. Mr. Greenlaw then attempted assault of Mr. Drake. The two scuffled on Mr. Drake's property which caused Mrs. Drake to leave the domicile to ascertain the cause of the disturbance. The dog, Cinnamon, returned to Mr. Greenlaw's side and destroyed several of the Drakes' flamingos."

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I crossed my arms over my chest. This was why I always went armed when alive. If I'd had my sword, none of this would have been a problem.

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"Is this what you meant by keeping it low key?" Lucifer asked, expression unreadable. "How long before Anastasia threw herself off something?"

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"It was only the curb. I've learned my lesson with patio furniture."

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